Custody, care and control, and access: what they mean for your children

The child's welfare comes first

In any decision about a child under 21, the court's paramount consideration is the child's welfare, read broadly to include their physical, emotional, mental, moral and religious wellbeing.

Custody

Custody is the right to make major, long-term decisions for the child, such as schooling, religion and medical treatment. Courts consider it generally best for both parents to stay involved, so joint custody is the most common order, even where the parents do not get along well.

Sole custody is reserved for exceptional cases, for example where a parent has abused the child, or where the parents cannot cooperate even after mediation and counselling and the child is suffering as a result.

Care and control

Care and control decides who the child lives with and who handles daily matters like meals, school and transport. It is usually given to one parent, typically the one who has been the main caregiver. Shared care and control, where the child's time is split between two homes, is possible where it is practical and in the child's interests.

Access

Access is the time the other parent spends with the child, such as on weekdays, weekends, school holidays and public holidays. It is usually unsupervised. Supervised access may be ordered where the child needs protection or the relationship needs to be rebuilt.

How the court decides

The court may ask for reports, such as a custody evaluation or social welfare report, to help it understand the family. Since 15 October 2024, judges have more room to take children's wishes into account, including speaking to children directly where appropriate.

Parents with a child under 21 must complete the Co-Parenting Programme before filing for divorce. There are also programmes for children themselves, designed to support them and reduce the conflict around them.

Moving overseas with your child

If you want to relocate abroad with your child and the other parent agrees, no court application is needed. If they do not agree, you must apply to court with your reasons and a plan for the child's care. The child's welfare remains the deciding factor, and rushed or poorly planned moves rarely succeed.